Don’t Feel Weird About Using a Sex Toy to Help Your Tampon Problem

Firstly, this is an 18+ post.

If you do not fall into this category, please go get your at-least-eighteen-year-old-mother and respectfully ask her permission for you to read this together. However, my target group for this post is the woman over eighteen who, despite her best efforts and my expert advice (starting with my first tampon blog), struggles to use tampons comfortably.

Let’s start with a technicality.

The term “sex toy” can be very offputting for some. I do wish there was another name for sex toys. (Though some of them deserve a tacky name like that.)

For the purpose of this blog, could we call them Attraction Contraptions? Objects d’ Heart? Mojo Gizmos? A Love Science Appliance? Not exactly catchy. Now I know why they are simply “sex toys”.

Apparently the word “dildo” is from the Italian “diletto”, or “delight”.

I would like to suggest in this post you become a dabbler in sex toys – a Diletto Dilettante, if you will.

I would firstly like to get it straight that I am not making an overall judgment on sex toys, for good or for bad. I am simply suggesting that in the scenario of having difficulty with tampons, they should not be discounted. They could after all be a useful tool.

At first blush – perhaps literally? – suggesting the use of sex toys when you are struggling with inserting tampons may seem like a bad joke.

The mere sight of them (or even thought of them) may be enough to make you recoil.

But trust me. There is good theory behind this apparently crazy idea.

What we need to do is to help the idea of using tampons stop being threatening. We need tampons to become a friend instead of a foe. My sex therapist friends tell me that for some women, using sex toys can help develop “friendlier feelings” in this area. If you read my post about the Empress in charge of the Guardians of the Gate, this concept will be familiar. We are looking for ways to turn the cranky Empress into a purring pussycat. And sex toys do have an excellent track record of doing this for women.

I am certainly not an expert. But if you are just a little open to the idea, becoming familiar with a vibrator, for example, may help develop some positive experience with the landscape.

Some vibrators are very small, discreet and tasteful. (And if that’s not your style, there are plenty of other styles as well!) The advantage of the small vibrators is that they can be used to develop awareness of pleasurable sensations anywhere around the vulva, but they can also be inserted in the vagina. (Perhaps it’s better to think of this as the vibrator “being embraced by the vagina”?) In fact, there are sets that double as vibrators and dilators – the topic of my next blog post in the series.

A number of my patients with difficulty inserting tampons, inserting their finger, or allowing entry of a penis tell me something interesting.

All of a sudden, the difficulties evaporate (or at least improve) after orgasm.

This makes sense; when you are aroused, the vagina expands. The silky tent roof we have talked about before becomes billowy and even more flexible, creating lots of space. So becoming aroused – with or without a sex toy, of course – can be a marvelous preparation to experimenting with inserting a tampon.

Need more help? Click here to read Step 9 in the series about successfully using a tampon!


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